Kennymon
by Kakashi1
Summary: South Park meets Digimon r/r please. PRETTY PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!!!


Warning-what you are about to read is hella-screwed up  
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"Last time we were chasing down Arukenimon down the streets of Odaiba, when she said that she had some new weapon-- I don't know what she was talkin about cause she started speaking mumbo jumbo about some "South Park" area."-Davis  
  
(Cue the pointlessly long and annoying beginning song.)  
  
Skidding down the streets, they find Arukenimon on the top of a building.  
  
"Okay Arukenimon, what are you up to!" Ken shouted. "Yeah, ya obnoxious insect!" added the now thouroughly pissed off Gatomon  
  
"For you information I'm a spider, not an insect. And I'll show you what I'm up to. Prepare to die. Come on, Kennymon!" yelled Arukenimon. Suddenly a small boy in a large orange coat covering his face popped out of thin air. "Myaaa!" the muffled orange digimon yelled.  
  
"Who the heck's that guy?" questioned the usually lost Davis. So Hawkmon decided to identify for everyone. "That is Kennymon. He is extremely poor." "I'm still lost-oh well-must crush something to keep the attention of the attention disorder held American audience-hey let's crush Kennymon-go digivolve Veemon!" Hearing the magic money words, Veemon jumped up into that swirling sequence.  
  
"Veemon digivolve to Exveemon! (Veemon's wallet digivolve to full, he he.)" Seeing the new digimon, Veemon decided to get some money for dialogue as well. "Shut your hole Arukeni..." But Exveemon's dialogue was cut off by a muffled "Mya am mkenmy man [Yah I'm Kenny, man.]" "Hey, you cut me off! Now you die! V-LASER!!!" And the little orange digimon was shredded to ribbons by the horribly missnamed "X" shaped blast.  
  
"Some heck of an undefeat..." But once again Exveemon's sentence was cut off, this time by the orange digimon's reapearing.  
  
A huge battle ensued, well actually more of a "kill Kennymon contest." But after several hours of this, the digimon gave up, as they were tired, and Odaiba was now orange with the many bodies of Kenny.  
  
"How can we kill this guy!" moaned the tired Hawkmon."He's like that Energizer bunny!" "Energizer bunny! Where?" replied armadillomon. Seeing the lawsuit trouble that could ensue, Gatomon decided to get back to the show's flow. "Hey guys, I tried getting Arukenimon" "Don't ...eh... care." spouted patamon. "Anyway, Kennymon seems to be bringing our attacks to him since my blast just changed directions." "Maybe you're just a horrible shot." Patamon met a claw for that little comment.  
  
"I think I can help you." said a mysterious voice from the shadows.  
  
Who is this mysterious man, and how could he know about Kennymon? Find out on the next episode of Digimon: Digital Monsters!  
  
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"Hey guys, why do we even tell them what happened last time. I mean they should've watched it or taped it or somethin..."-Cody  
  
(Just cue the frickin' opening)  
  
"Hi I'm Trey Parker." the stranger said. Almost like lightning, Davis's sister Jun popped up onto Trey Parker's leg. "Oh I'm a huge fan of the show! Can I get you're audograph! Hey where's Matt Stone?"  
  
"Matt stayed in America for several reasons. One, that would make 2 Matt's in this show." Upon hearing these words, Matt Ishida popped out of a window. "How about you just allow me to be Yamato." Then Tai popped out of the same window. "And can Taito be allowed, too?"  
  
Using a classic anime look, Trey responded with a solemn "I'm not touchin' that one with a 20' pole." "Anyways, Matt also stayed back for Willis-like reasons. Then Willis popped out of another window.  
  
"You mean cause he's a bisexual playboy from Colorado?" Shuddering at this for a few seconds, Trey replied," Actually, I was referring to the movie's plot. You see Matt and I are also digidestined. And we make South Park. Anyway, one day Matt decided he'd upload his digimon, Kennymon, up onto the computer and copy him to make more merchandise. But while on the internet, Haim Saban got to Kennymon and turned him evil in promise of a crappy solo series, and since then Matt's been listening to crappy music while wearing pokemon merchandise" "Wow, now how does that apply to sexy me?"  
  
"Mo bank mu de begimming." "Stop that," hissed Arukenimon.  
  
"Let's go do what we came here to do Stanmon," shouted Trey as he threw a little digi-boy into the air. Suddenly, the blue digimon shouted "blaach!!" as he used his barfing blaster. Unfortunately, the disgusting little attack did nothing to the currupt Kennymon, as he retalliated with his special attack.  
  
"Ma houshe! [My House!]" Suddenly, Stanmon was sucked into a swirling brown tornado. "Can't....breath!" Stanmon shouted as he turned green. "Stanmon you gotta digivolve! Kennymon's just to f---ing powerful!" Trey shouted to his helpless digimon partner.  
  
"Stanmon digivolve to Hankymon!" Using this moment of morbidness, inspector Oikawa popped up. "This shall shock you digidestined into submission. Davis is the result of combining Tai's and Matt's DNA." True this left them speechless for a moment, but it was soon followed by a unanimous "that actually makes alot of sense," along with Tai and Matt popping shirtless out of a window gleefully shouting "we have a son!"  
  
"Not the shock I expected. Well get to it Kennymon." "Ma houshe!" Kennymon shouted as he created another brown twister. As Hankymon was swept into the twister, he threw a tidal wave of poo, shouting "ha, HOWDY HO!" expecting himself to come out on top. Unfortunately for Hankymon, the tidal wave of poo, along with Oikawa, were swept into brown tornado, screaming at the top of their lungs "Nooooooooooo......" Within moments the tower of poo froze the two inside, as all the digidestined and their digimon started vomiting up their guts. Well except for Trey who was in shock and Kennymon who was laughing his ass off.  
  
"Noooooooo," cried Trey "My carreer is dooooomed! Come on digivolve dammit!!!" Suddenly the tower of poo melted (causing another round of mass vomiting) as a glowing figure, along with poor, evil inspector Oikawa, could be seen.  
  
"Hankymon digivolve to Mackeymon!" "Yah my carrier...er...buddy!" Trey shouted in joy. "Mo, mu mu habme snum fi im mu. [So, you do have some fight in you.] Ma houshe!" the evil Kennymon snarled, firing another deadly tornado.   
  
"I don't think so, m'kay! M'KAY BLAZER!!!" And with these words from the large headed ultimate digimon, a green fire engulfed Kennymo (also with these words, that stupid no-beat, horribly written series of songs started.)  
  
"Mraaaa!" Kennymon yelled as he dispelled the blaze. Finally, the other digimon stopped vomiting and started fighting, and a huge battle ensued , involving much tackling, biting, kicking, punching, using special moves and the such.  
  
About 5-10 minutes into the battle though, Mackeymon dove offscreen, and another battle could be heard in the background. "This music sucks, M'kay! 'You run around' is bad for battle, m'kay! I shall not 'get digital,' m'kay!" During this, all digimon on screen stopped moving and just listened to Mackeymon beat the shit out of those third-rate bands that always sing the stupid songs.  
  
After the heavy assault on Saban's bard lackeys, Mackeymon jumped back on screen. "Let's get back to this, m'kay. M'KA..." but before Mackeymon could preform his special a semi-truck crushed him, via a brown tornado. And with that, the orange digimon went back into an insane fit of laughter, and the digidestined turned to Trey (who had once again gone into shock as he saw the end of his career) and asked an almost unanimous "Now how were you supposed to help?!"  
  
Yolie even added "And what's up with your moves? Your ultimate attack doesn't even phase him, while I could kill him with a paper airplane!!!" With that, Yolei fashioned a paper airplane from a newspaper on the ground, and threw it at Kennymon, cutting him in half (though another just took his place.) "SEE!!!" Trey was still in shock though so he didn't see or hear any of this.  
  
Suddenly, life came back to Trey as Stanmon crawled out from under semi-truck. "Don't worry Trey (blechk) I'm willing to do this to defeat Kennymon, but it's gonna suck ass." "Huh" was all Trey could say as his digivice glowed and beaped. "Stanmon warp digivolve to CARTMON!!! THE ASS OF POWER!!!" Seeing this, Kennymon flew to the building that Arukenimon and Mummymon were sitting on while they were watching the battle. "Mraa! Mime mumosedm mu bme de umdiming mum! (I'm supposed to be the undie-ing one!)" Not understanding Kennymon's dialect, Mummymon thought that he was just mentioned. That's not important though as Mummymon is pathetic.  
  
"That's it you guys, Kennymon really gonna get 'cause he's hella-lame!" Cartmon said to the others as he hovered to Kennymon. As Cartmon came close to the building, Kennymon let off a brown tornado, sucking Cartmon in it. "God it smells like Kenny's house in here you guys! (cough cough) Seriously you guys!" But as all started to look a little familiar, Cartmon started spinning the other direction, dispelling the noxious tornado, and allowing him to jump onto the roof of the building, right in front of Kennymon.  
  
"Mtuuhhh" "ROSHAMBO!!!" And with in a moment of this one word from Cartmon, all of Japan heard a loud cracking sound. Then Cartmon started his way to Arukenimon and Mummymon, stepping passed the unconsious Kennymon (who had now regressed to Ikemon.) In terror, Arukenimon stared to speak. "Wait, before you attack us you should know something. Cartmon, I am your mother." "Noooooooooooooooo you guys!!! Noooooooooooooo!!!" Then Mummymon, feeling left out, put his two cents in (which in his case is more like a haypenny.) "Hey fat ass, you should feel honored to have Arukenimon in your blood."  
  
Thinking himself some motivational speaker, Mummymon stood there, completely forgetting as to how he referred to Cartmon. He soon realized his mistake, as Arukenimon threw him off the building yelling "RESPECT MA SON'S AUTHORETAAA!!!" "Ugamakem" cheerfully cried Ikemon, and all had a good laugh, except Yukio Oikawa (for obvious reasons,) Matt Stone (who was still in America, listenning to crappy music while wearing Pokemon merchandise,) and Mummymon, who while still conscious, was still unable to understand the little currupted digimon. 


End file.
